Hold unto Peace

Right from childhood till now, I've been struggling with time management. The aspect of time management that is being early to places and appointments has always been an insurmountable problem. 

I'm not generally late but if you want to go somewhere with me you have to know at whatever time you come over to my end, I will not be done preparing. And this habit of mine led to the story I'm sharing today.

When I was in primary three, I had a very close friend. Her name was Flora. Our friendship was limited to walking to school and from school together. 

And we were also church mates, her uncle was a Sunday school teacher and I guess that earned her some popularity. We were friends, close but not extremely close.

One day my friend, Flora as usual, came over to wait for me so we go to school together. 

When she came I had just finished taking my bath so my Dad asked her to take the lead if she wanted to but she decided to wait for me. 

She waited for about twenty five minutes and we ended up late for school earning us six hot lashes on our palms.

You can just imagine my friend’s anger, she kept muttering insults at me the whole day for making her suffer the stinging pains that never left our palms. It was even difficult for us to write in class.

We had a confrontation at lunch, which was quite funny when I look back. I reiterated what my dad told her, she was asked to take the lead or wait, the options were presented before her and the final choice was her own.

I guess she deserves the good friend award for trying to stick with me through thick and thin but still I was pissed at her for picking a quarrel with me. 

Throughout our petty fight I refrained from insulting her because she's a friend but on our way home (which was quite surprising for everyone that we still walked together after the fight), she insulted me in our local dialect calling me the daughter of a goat.

My fury that day knew no bounds! She called me the daughter of a goat just because we were late. 

I ceased all communication with her from that moment onwards after I told her to by pass me whenever we cross paths (usual childhood threats). 

I was quite dramatic about the whole thing. I was very determined to avoid her. Even then at that age, I was unconsciously preserving my peace.

But that was painful wasn't it, being called the daughter of a goat. I learnt to hold my peace after giving her a piece of my mind. Of course I could not resist doing that, I was infuriated.

Holding one's  peace is letting go of pain because keeping the grudge means reminiscing the whole incident whenever you think of or remember a particular incident or something similar. 

The growth of bitterness in an individual is deadly. It has the capacity to eat away your self esteem, darken your perception about other people and blind you to the numerous possibilities around you.

A few days after my experience, I withdrew from my other friends at school because I felt eventually they would all hurl hurtful insults at me.

Besides it was not like I was magically going to stop being late anytime soon  and so I felt I should rather preserve myself from any future altercations.

But how wrong was I! Deciding to ignore the existence of something does not mean it ceases to exist. But the power of its nuances and its effects lies with you.

Say what you have to say because there are times you will need to blow off some steam calm down, after this please hold your peace.

You would be surprised how things will fall in place. My not retaliating to my childhood friend resulted in her asking for my forgiveness and renewing our friendship though it didn't last.

It obviously wasn't going to, the anger, pain and subsequent resentment. I let go of the anger yes but seeing her never ceased to remind me of her words.

But what did I learn? Keeping malice, holding on tightly to anger and totally avoiding people after a bad experience with them takes away your peace.

If it's  possible tie peace to yourself like a girdle or attach it like a breastplate. Why do we think many people look good on the outside but are dying on the inside.

One highly probable cause is holding on to a lot of issues, events and thoughts. 

Acceptance is crucial for peace of mind. Accepting that there are few guarantees in the world and learning to tolerate uncertainty is a huge leap in the peace of mind stakes. 

Differentiate between what you can and cannot control. Free yourself from certain 'responsibilities'. Prioritize  the elements of your life. Issues that have no bearing on your priorities do not deserve to detract from your peace.

When you allow voices, opinions, your own thoughts and perceptions sometimes even teachings to interrupt with your safe space this is where we have so many unpleasant occasions. Extreme bullying, suicide and it's related psychological problems. 

Be mindful and fully present in every situation allow your five senses to lead you and listen to the sweet voice of God.

At the end of the day it's you that matters. So fight to maintain your peace. 

Work hard to keep your peace, it  is seriously everything needed to experience a clutter free life.

Cheers!